Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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