Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize