the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I can't put those talents on a resume
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize