Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize