I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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