as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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