just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize