A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
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I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
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The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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