I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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