I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize