I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I am midnight drunk by noon
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize