Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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