Just fell off a train. Bad.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize