You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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