I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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