Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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