It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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