Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
this is an emotional support booty call
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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