I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You can't special order awesome
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
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he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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