if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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