wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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