Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
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But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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