im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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