Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school http://tfl.nu/dith

Replies (36) Good night (3234) Bad night (501)
Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl http://tfl.nu/5x3v

Replies (19) Good night (2458) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(562): View more from California

Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(562): Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop http://tfl.nu/vzd0

Replies (78) Good night (4515) Bad night (1161) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate. http://tfl.nu/beue

Replies (40) Good night (1116) Bad night (6928)
Favorite
(207): View more from Maine

Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(207): Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask. http://tfl.nu/6wlk

Replies (6) Good night (2725) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(205): View more from Alabama

She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(205): She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends. http://tfl.nu/ogdq

Replies (5) Good night (871) Bad night (2379) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples. http://tfl.nu/kf5x

Replies (17) Good night (3713) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(818): View more from California

At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(818): At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis. http://tfl.nu/iwbw

Replies (5) Good night (4042) Bad night (1402) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(907): View more from Alaska

I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(907): I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/8kf2

Replies (13) Good night (4235) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(435): View more from Utah

Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(435): Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters... http://tfl.nu/orhj

Replies (1) Good night (872) Bad night (2516)
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room... http://tfl.nu/oonq

Replies (5) Good night (3624) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(406): View more from Montana

she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(406): she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over. http://tfl.nu/abn4

Replies (8) Good night (3108) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(972): View more from Texas

I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(972): I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards. http://tfl.nu/fq92

Replies (8) Good night (1542) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.

(1+61): View more from

Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover. (1+61): Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer. http://tfl.nu/so7s

Replies (5) Good night (1445) Bad night (479)
Favorite
(507): View more from Minnesota

You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"

(815): View more from Illinois

I stand by it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(507): You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her" (815): I stand by it. http://tfl.nu/atfq

Replies (5) Good night (1521) Bad night (304)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: