I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
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Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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