So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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