You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it's like iHOP with fire
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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