im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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