Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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