How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
did you just send me my own nude
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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