just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
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the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
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And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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