my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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