Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize