i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
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What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
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It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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