nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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