wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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