I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize