i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize