I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize