I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of my boobs compel you
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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