"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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