Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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