My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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