I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize