i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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