i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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