I'm gonna have a badass scar
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We are two peas in an std pod
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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