i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize