please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize