just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize